Parting words

So clearly I haven’t been writing for the last, wow, more than 6 months.

Occasionally something pops into my head that I want to talk about, but I never sit down and write about it, can’t really say why. Sometimes it’s just that I lose interest, or I figure it out myself, or it’s been beaten to death already, but when it doesn’t fit into those choices, I find that instead of writing about it, I talk to my close friends about it instead. Deal with it, or explore it in the way I want to and that feels satisfying, and I’m done with it, I no longer need to keep flogging it… and on the odd time that I do, I go back to my friends or just deal with it myself.

I’ve been asking myself, fairly often, what purpose does this blog have for me now. I still enjoy going back and seeing my own progression in there from time to time, although now that I think about it it’s been quite a few months since I’ve even done that. It was a great therapeutic tool for me, one that I don’t seem to need anymore, and that’s OK.

Actually, it’s probably a good thing.

As things improved last year and kept getting better and better, and I kept getting stronger and stronger, I found that I came to regret certain posts I’ve made, or at least wished I hadn’t been so personal (the ones w/r to my ex boyfriend dumping me were perhaps…. a little harsh). At the time I needed them, now I’m not terribly proud of them. Again, this is OK, I’m learning. Assuming I’ll leave this blog in place, I’ll be unpublishing a number of entries, for my own peace of mind. When the year runs out on my hosting, I think I’ll just let it fade into the past, or maybe transfer some specific pieces which I’m quite proud of back over to my original free hosting site, I don’t know, the me that will exist at the end of the year will figure it out, I trust her.

It’s odd, even while writing this, which I guess is a closing piece, at least for the time being, part of my mind is telling me to write down and catalog all of the amazing experiences I’ve had since the end of last summer, all of the lessons learned, hardships endured, victories achieved, like I would do in the past, but now I’m like…. why bother. I know what I went through, my people were there for me, I have my pictures, why do I need to write about it and send it into the public aether like I’ve been doing for so long now?.

So I wont.

I was there after all.

All I’ll leave you with is… I’m doing wonderfully…

Thanks for listening

Maybe I’ll see you all again one day

With Love

Dawn

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