ready to go

all packed, I’ve realized I’ve forgotten something about ten times now, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got everything…

I’m only going for a week, but I have over 60 lbs of luggage to bring, and in all honesty, not that much of it is work, maybe 7lbs. You travel heavy as a trans woman…

jeans (two work, two nice), work shirts, heavy male jacket (ugh), work boots, flats, flat boots, heels, wig, body, girls stuff, sleeping stuff, makeup, creams and gels and jewelry…. bloody hell… I don’t even have any skirts or dresses

good thing work will cover the oversized luggage charge, hehehe

fuck, socks, be right back

ok, well, I did have socks, but work socks for my steeltoe boots and sleeping socks, not socks to wear with my women’s stuff…. as I said, complicated

so now its 35 minutes until the cab will show up…. I was feeling a lot worse yesterday about all of this, but I’ve got this kind of melancholy going on right now…. not terrible I guess, but I gotta keep an eye on it

I called up my aunt today who lives fairly near by, this is my favorite aunt from my childhood, my mom had told her about me a few weeks back, so we chatted about everything, and Becca and I, and we’ll all get together when I get back so they can meet the new me (I’ve decided, in Montreal, no more fake body).

I think what I appreciated the most is I asked her if she had told her kids, and the grandkids, and her response was “oh, of course”. She didn’t feel the need to hide… yes she’s a bit of a gossip… love her, lol…. but she didn’t feel the need to hide, didn’t see this as something scary and horrible (surprising yes, but… that’s OK).

so that felt good, and I went out, picked up the rest of my stuff for my trip, picked up some stuff for the cats, got them all set for the week without me (Becca should be coming by, but just incase…)

and I had a cool experience yesterday at the pharmacy which I never mentioned, which was while I was shopping, a cute young salesgirl helped me find some face cream, then I hit the Smashbox aisle, got my primer just as she was asking if I needed a good makeup base, I told her I had exactly what I needed, we chitchatted, she rung up my order, and invited me to a private makeup consult cocktail party they were having that week at the pharmacy…… but people…. I was in boy mode. Heheheheheh, so cool

and the thing I’ve been trying to avoid saying, is that this is my first trip since I’ve been in the work force, in which I don’t have a partner waiting for me at home. And that’s a tough thing to stop thinking of. I know there are people that love me, and are looking forward to seeing me when I get back, but it’s not the same. Not having that person to call right before bed, oof, good thing I have my sleeping meds.

ok, enough being forlorn and all that, fuck it, let’s go to Halifax, let’s show em how a Montreal trans woman does it. I’ll end up coming out to ppl I work with, hehe, all men there, oh boy, let do this

Dawn out!


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