An open letter to my Filipino family

First off, hi

I know some of you are reading this, and right away, I want to say, please, continue if you want to, I was surprised to discover this but very touched by the knowledge, and I think it’s a shame that this is only something that we can share, even if it is anonymously, this late in the game. In reality, the game is over isn’t it?

I don’t know who you are, and I don’t need to. But whoever you are, or if some of you find this later on and start reading back, know that I’m most likely talking to you too, I want to say something to you, because I may never get the opportunity to do it face to face again

Thank you

All of you have treated me like family since the beginning, even if you found me crass and offensive (which I know some of you did), and even if you knew that I didn’t share your religion which is so important to you all  and I wasn’t planning on raising our future children in it, you still accepted me, and understood that people are different; furthermore, you helped me see that as well.

You have invited me into your homes, allowed me to spend time with you and your children, and even though I still get some names confused, I’ve come to love you all in one way or another.

I’ve attended your weddings, your birthday parties and Christmas gatherings, your baptisms and community gatherings. Even before I started dating Becca, I was part of your family, and not just with respect to the ones around my age, but even the parents of my Filipino friends would take care of me

When we honeymooned in the Philippines, so many of you took care of us, made us feel welcome and loved.

I’ve seen and felt the iron strength of the Filipino family bond, you are all truly unique in that. The rest of the world could learn much from you

One of my biggest regrets is that I will most likely never see most of you again.

Know that I have hated living in secret among you, but then again, perhaps it was the only way. So far reaction to the news has been, shall we say, not terribly positive, but I have hope that those who feel anger will be able to let go one day. I wonder if we had opened up years ago would things have been different, unfortunately, it’s impossible to say one way or the other.

Also know that the secrecy that we harbored does not reflect upon my desire for people to know, and for people to talk to me about all of this, or to simply talk about trans* in general. I am an incredibly open person, and I love discussing things that many people would find “too personal”. If you, the reader, wants to reach out, even anonymously, click on my profile, send me an email, or leave a comment, I welcome it

and I guess that’s all I needed to say.

take care,

love you


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