…. or the lack thereof

It’s a classic stereotype, and a damn true one, the trans girl and the camera. Especially at the CDer stage, or the pre-going out and having a real life as a woman* stage, so many of us feel the need to document almost every single dress up session, every single outfit, from a hundred different angles.

Hey, I’m not judging, I’ve got a thousand pics on my machine easy….. and a few hundred on my phone. I’ve probably lost (or flushed) more than I currently have.

I haven’t felt the urge to take reams of shots in a few months now. I did take a few while on my trip, but thats been over for a couple months already and barely a shot has been taken since.

I don’t check flickr much anymore either, when I first got on that late last year, I was hooked. I’d spend hours looking through it every few nights. But now?, I check it briefly once a week to check for new comments, and that’s it.

So…. why?

I’ve thought about it a while, and I think its simply that: the taking of pictures for me was almost a way to cement each time I dressed in stone, I lived with the assumption that there may not be a next time, that I may never look that good again, so I had to take shot after shot. It was also a way of creating a female life for myself, and sharing those pictures was my way (and I think alot of others’) of validating my female existence to myself. Dawn essentially lived in the camera’s eye.

But now Dawn lives in the eyes of the people that interact with her, people I know, and people I don’t, but they see me……….

ooooooooh, spooky voice

gotten silly, time to go

* I am specifically not including FtM in this simply because I have no idea if you guys do the whole lunatic-with-a-camera thing that us girls do, therefore I didn’t want to assume.

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