Catching up

I really didn’t realize it had been this long since I last posted, ah ben*.

It’s been a weird, tough, yet not at all as tough as they could have been few weeks. Been out a few times, had a wonderful shopping day with an old girl-friend** who I just only recently came out to and absolutely loved it, and a bombshell dropped between Becca and I.

I don’t really see transitioning as an “if” anymore, it’s more of a “when”.

There, it’s out, it’s said.

A few tears, on both our parts, quiet-ness, then a surprise…

when Becca gets frustrated at stuff, she tends to get cranky (in an absolutely adorable way, just don’t tell her I told you that) and “lashes out” by punching my upper arm. Look, she’s a full foot shorter than me, it’s nothing to worry about. The thing is, usually the cranky punches come when she is starting to feel better about a situation, has accepted something to a certain degree…. an example would be her giving me cranky punches while saying ‘I wont get mad at you for being a dumbass I just have to accept it’…. and then usually the smiles come out and things “get better” between us regarding whatever situation had started this all.

so, yeah, the cranky punches came out. No more big tears, panic attacks (usually on my side for the record), freak outs, and there haven’t been since. We’re probably not talking as much as we should, but little pieces come out here and there, I think we’re finally learning how to talk about serious stuff with each other, without letting it tear us down entirely, by having these little conversation-squirts that we’ve had a few times this past week.

She also picked up the phone and made some calls to the therapists that my therapist gave her, unfortunately no luck and she got a bit frustrated, but the first step was taken and I’m really happy for that.

So yeah, she didn’t pack and leave, so that’s good. I’m keeping my fingers crossed…….

ciao

* “ah ben” literally translates from French into English as “oh well”. I just like it alot better.

** Since in this stupid world women call their female friends their “girlfriends”, and people who are romantically involved with women call their female partners their “girlfriends”, I’ve always felt the need to make the distinction between someone who is a female friend, and who is an ex-partner, especially because most people I date, and most people I am friends with, are all women. Therefore, girl-friend, is friend, girlfriend is ex/current partner.


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