No one ever said being trans was easy….

Dawn, for the first time, felt loved, and desired…. and that gaping hole in my soul was suddenly, if only temporarily, filled. I’ve felt this hole for … well … ever, did I know this is what it needed?, maybe, we lie to ourselves so easily.

At home, Dawn, while loved in a certain way, is still seen as a threat. I can’t find any fault in that, and that’s the tough part, I understand………

In a way she is a threat to me, to the me that Becca fell in love with, can’t deny it. At the same time, she is me, and without her, I wouldn’t be me, and Becca would have never loved me to begin with.

Its a real mindfuck.

I keep focusing on one aspect of my experience, which is that even as a boy, and with that person as a girl, it still felt great. Sure I wanted some fabulous boobs, always will, but the thought of going all the way (which I consider to be social transition in reality, doesn’t matter what is under your dress except to those who you share that with) wasn’t as prevalent, I was comfortable knowing if I wanted to boy it up for a few days, or femme it up for a week, it would all be cool.

Is that what I need?.

There’s no denying that the more I feel comfortable as a woman, the better I feel as a guy (still can’t use the word ‘man’), as I’ve said before, a fairly femmy guy, but a guy nonetheless.

Well, thats what therapy is for isn’t it?, had my second session, more later

Wish me luck

…and more than that

Wish Becca and me all the luck in the world

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